Monday, May 23, 2011


-get dressed
-clean fridge :(
-wash dishes
-fold clothes
-clean bathroom a bit
-get ahold of doug
-go visit our old high school
-go to the Brickhouse!!!
-work 4:30 to 9
-find some part of the day in which I can work out.

where has all my time gone?

it's been spent on Tumblr. I'm addicted in the worst way. I should probably actually start using this blog though.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Lovely man #2: Karl Urban

No explaining. Just stare.

It's the one with him and Viggo that I really love. I don't know why I have such a crush on this man, but he's just adorable to me. Also: not wearing pants. Also: licking things.

That's all I have to say about that.

yes, well

My mother thinks I might be bipolar. I am terrified that she might be right but feel certain that she's not. maybe I'm in denial? whatever.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Wow. Blog fail.

Sorry for being so incredibly horrible at posting things. I sort of just suck. I guess I don't have much to say anymore. My stomach is growling. I think it's trying to digest itself. ugh. also, the people surrounding me at the moment are absolutely repulsive. This isn't helping my superiority complex.

Really though... Saying that all Asian children should work in sweat shops really just qualifies you for douche of the week. I don't care if you're joking, that is just stupid. Also, they're talking about video games. VOM.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Well, I've finally seen it. It was good. I won't lie. Quite good actually. But it bothered me. Despite the fact that Joseph Gordon Levitt in it. There wasn't enough character development and I didn't really find myself caring about the outcome of the movie. What really got me was Cobb (Leo D.) and his wife. I don't know what it is with Leo lately, but it's like every woman he decides to marry becomes mentally unstable. I guess the side/underlying plot of him and his wife reminded me too much of Shutter Island. (Yet another movie I thought was good but still found disappointing.) Both women become completely off their rockers and he has to confront his subconscious that continues to create shadows of the women they were before their crazy lives were inevitably ended.

Blah, no more complaining! For the good, I loved the cinematography and colors. and the concept itself is brilliant. The ending left a bad taste in my mouth but that could be because I was annoyed with the main character in the first hour. The movie itself is just... beautiful, really. I think I would have liked it to be quite shorter and my perception could be biased because of my stressful day. and the cast list!! it's fabulous! my eyes started tearing up from the beauty of all the fabulous people to be found in that movie. I mean, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Ellen Page, and Cillian Murphy in one movie? AWESOME.

I'll have to rewatch it when I'm not so insane. Like Leo's wife. Both of them, actually.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The ex from hell.

I have a problem. My problem is that I have HORRIBLE taste in men. really. It's just awful. Like John Mayer bad (....that guy is just so skeevy). Anyway, I dated my ex for over a year and a half and that was pretty much the worst idea ever. We broke up at the end of this summer but he continued to talk to me through email and facebook. I thought my feelings for him would die because he currently lives over 2,000 miles away but he kept trying to talk to me and while that happened it was impossible for me to get over him.  What's even creepier is that he has friends here who seem to keep tabs on me, because somehow he knows where I was and who I was with. I'd sign onto my email and get a message saying "How was the hookah bar with brian?" and I'd be screaming "WHAT THE TITS?!" and start checking my body for implanted GPS.  That was when I decided this was just too freaking creepy and stopped talking to him all together. He texted me a few nights ago at 1 AM when I was on the phone with my friend. (Asking "Why do you hate me?" .... -_-) I thought maybe when I begged him never to talk to me again he would get the point... apparently not. I actually decided to change my email and block him from my facebook just to get him to shut the hell up.

Why can't I shake this guy? It's getting to the point where I hear someone with his name and cringe. I will forever be biased against men named Derek. Which sucks, because super-hotty Shamar Moore's name on the show Criminal Minds is Derek Morgan...
My brain has never been so torn between lust and repulsion. It's almost painful. He is... adorable.

Anyway, hopefully, with my new email address and blocked facebook he will eventually go away. But in case he doesn't and I die suspiciously... well, I'm not pointing fingers, but....

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Lovely Man #1: Andrej Pejic

Good heavens, this man is... well, frankly, he is more beautiful than I am. His name is Andrej-Pejic and is a native of Bosnia-Herzegovina. This kid is 19 and looks like an angel. He has appeared in various Paris runway shows this past season and caught the eye of designer Jean Paul Gaultier who then booked him for his 2011 runway show and also in his add campaign against model Karolina Kurkova. Andrej has also been chosen to appear in Marc by Marc Jacobs adds this year.  This boy is literally mind-blowing. He's just started his career but has appeared in editorials in major fashion magazines: Vogue Italia and Turkey, Candy magazine, and Tush magazine.

Jealous? I am...

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

She demanded this of me

I'm not sure what to call this, I'll think of it while I write. I was speaking to a friend of mine (very) early this morning and she said I should write about her. I figured, eh, what the hell, why not? This girl and I am like an extension of the same person; we like the same music, the same movies, the same girls, the same boys.

We have both been through a lot, too much maybe, but have dealt with much of it together. She's the one I can talk to about... well anything really. She is the love of my life. I never want to stop being friends with this girl, it would be like losing myself.

Anyway, I cannot stop listening to the XX. Their music gives me shivers (or maybe that's my freezing house).  My favorites are the songs Basic Space and their single Crystalize; I keep playing them over and over and over. They are mind-numbingly good. The band's hushed tones and melodies just make me so relaxed and happy. Specifically, Romy's voice never ceases to give me tingles. She is adorable.  and I can't help but look at Oliver and think he looks like a much younger and cuter Eminem... weird, right? This band is amazing. Their official website. Look them up. Listen to them. Feel your spirits lift!

Monday, January 3, 2011

It always starts with a break up...

I mean really, what story of self reflection doesn't start with a broken heart or break up or divorce or abandonment of some sort? It's a cliche. I wouldn't say my heart is broken. Well, not anymore. In fact, one might say that it is quite in tact. More of my pride is... mangled. Let me be frank, I was a horrible girlfriend. He was an atrocious boyfriend. Together we were a monstrosity. The year and a half long relationship was a mistake to say the least. I plan on using this blog to grow the hell up, honestly. Blogging may seem like a pretty dumb way to grow up, but my therapist told me to keep a diary and whenever I try to write in a diary I write so hard and much that my hands cramp and the pencil breaks. It's a pain really... So. Here goes nothing.

I am young. Possibly too young. Mature in many ways and immature in even more ways. I have mild insomnia. Hence the writing at 1:30 AM. I am the youngest in my immediate family. I am short. I like sweatshirts and tight jeans. I am normal looking; pretty, in a stereotypical blond way. I like drawing, books, cooking, gardens, organic food, and animals. I watch too much television. I grew up in a loving home and am still close with my parents. I have nightmares often and overreact when my pride is bruised. I admire beauty. I love fashion and men and women. I like people in general, humanity is just fantastically, horribly, interesting.

I have issues. But really, who doesn't have issues? Or maybe the more important question is this: does the fact that I admit to having problems make me weaker than those who hide their pain? or stronger?

Well... that's what's up.